You do know what causes this, right?

That's the question I hear a lot. I find it annoying. I know people are just trying to be humorous b/c they don't really know what to say when they find out I'm expecting my 5th child. Congratulations would be preferred. I LOVE the newborn period. I LOVE waking all night long and having special time with just the newborn. I think of a newborn more like a baby kangaroo that while born, still has to cling to momma to survive. I'm excited and blessed to be able to go through it again.
I knew I wanted to write this post, but I didn't know when I would write it. I thought it would be long before now. It is a touchy subject: birth control... or the lack thereof as the case may be. So, if that subject gives you the heebie jeebies, stop reading :)
David and I have felt that 3 kids is almost the new normal. A lot of people have 3 kids. Seems stopping at 2 is becoming more and more rare. Though having them in less than 3 years isn't so normal. But then came 4 and it seemed we were looked at a bit differently when we'd go to the store. And now along comes 5 and it is like we have officially entered "freakville." People can't fathom why in the world we would have 5 kids, so we must be one of those couples who don't believe in birth control. "Yes I'm having my 5th child and I'm not Morman, Catholic, or after my own reality TV show."
I'm not opposed to all forms of birth control. I'm opposed to the one that actually works: the pill. I took it when David and I first got married, believing that it stops ovulation. I stopped using it after about a year. It made me irritable ALL the time rather than a few days a month. Barrier methods to the rescue. Then that summer we decided we'd like to have a baby... with the thinking that it would take a year. Little did we know it would take one month.
After Abigail was born, I was breastfeeding and not worrying about getting pregnant until ovulation returned. It never did (at least, not that I knew of). Noah was born about 15.5 months after Abigail. I wanted my kids close in age, so that was just fine with me. The original 'plan' was to have 2 close in age, wait a few years, then have 2 more close in age. It was while I was pregnant/nursing Noah that I discovered that the primary way the pill works is preventing ovulation. But, if you do ovulate, it has a 'back up' method that makes it unlikely for implantation. I found this out by going to a frequently asked questions page of a site for a birth control pill. It was not an "anti pill" page. That's where my problem comes. We all know someone who has become pregnant on the pill. So it is easy to say "oh if I ovulated, I'd just become pregnant, I know someone who did." But you *don't* know how often they ovulated, egg was fertilized, but they did *not* become pregnant b/c the lining wasn't prepared to receive it. There is no way you can know, and I'm not ok with that. I don't believe I have any right to interfere once fertilization has taken place, so I don't take the pill... or use any other BC method that uses hormones.
That leaves methods that don't have the highest percentage of effectiveness... and so we had Isaac 19 months after Noah. And then went 5 years and thought we were done. But along came Elijah and baby #5 :) I am *thrilled* to be blessed with a large family. In high school, I said I wanted 5 kids. It was only after the first 3 came in less than 3 years that we rethought our original plan of 4 kids.
Of course, there is the kind that REALLY works: surgery. But I don't have a peace about that either. I've prayed about it and just don't feel like that is something I can do. While I don't feel all forms of birth control are wrong, I don't feel like I should slam the door and tell God "no way, no how am I having more kids." I don't think it is wrong for everyone, I just don't feel like God has lead ME to that. David has felt the same, but who knows. God could tell him differently in the future.
So here we are. I am excited about the new arrival come October. I'd really like a name for the little guy though :)